sterling-black-lotus

I don't know. Do I stay or do I go? There could be more. Or there could be this. Do I want more? Should I risk it? Do I leave this behind for that? There could be... but is it worth the risk? Do I make the leap and pray? I just don't know.

I wish I wasn't so afraid. I wish the world was nicer. I wish I was callous. I wish I was abrupt. I wish I didn't weigh so much. I wish people would talk to me without my talking to them first. I wish I wasn't so trusting. I wish I wasn't hurt all the time. I wish my eyes were bigger. I wish I didn't feel like vomiting all the time. I wish I didn't cry so much. I wish I was thought of more often. I wish I was someone other than me.

It's cold. I'm so, so cold. I've been running, running in this maze so long. I don't know what's up, or what's down. Don't run. Don't walk. Don't stand still. What are you doing? I'm on my knees. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I can't keep the tears from falling. No!  No!  Please, no! How did I get here? Why can't I find my way out? Ahhh! Why did the temperature drop? How could I feel any colder? How can I become warm? Uhh...don't think. It only makes you sick. It only makes food come back up. No! I don't want to sink into the ground. Not again. Dear God, please, not again. How did I get left behin